Feeling really lame.
You know what’s great in this city? Halloween. The city goes crazy. Thousands of people parade and tens of thousands mob the streets around the law school to watch. It’s insane. I think the day I realized just how much I loved NYC was Halloween of my freshman year when I walked out the door of my dorm into a throng of thousands of insanely dressed, insanely inebriated revelers who were still wandering around at 3am. I mean it’s truly amazing to witness.
That’s coupled with the number of big name musical acts that the city draws for Halloween shows. Shows that almost invariably feature interesting covers, rarely played classics and hardcore fans in the ultimate inside joke costumes. Really this town is to Halloween what Savannah is to St Pats and Berkeley is to Arbor Day (damn tree-huggers).
Unfortunately this year I had a simulated client interview for my Lawyering class which meant that from 7-8pm I was in a suit struggling through an overly disagreeable interview with a client who was just not interested in talking to us. By the time it ended and I had shed the suit (leaving it a garment bag in the school coat check where it would stay for several days) it was too late to get all the way uptown to see the Black Crowes do their Halloween show. Damn. I did walk out the door of the law school to see an angry looking Oompa Loompa run by waving a picket sign that said Wonka touched my Willy.
And since most of my friends seem to be on some bizarre alternate year cycle where they go all out for Halloween one year and the next barely acknowledge its existence and since the girl with the apartment overlooking the parade route foolishly moved to new digs while I was gone there wasn’t a lot of options.
So Josh and I and Jeff ended up spending 3-4 very pleasant, albeit tame, hours staking out Washington Square Park near the Arch watching the insane costumes and the scantily attired females. I’m not going to dwell on it cause everyone feels the need to pontificate on it and the deeper issues it represents, but daaaaaamn is it amazing. I think my percentage doubled or tripled tonight. Hell I might’ve been close to 15%, which for those of you who’ve played the game with me will know is waaay above my average. I will also say that the most brilliant use of the “Sexy ___” costume was a girl who went as Sexy Marijuana. Which was pretty much a huge pot leaf covering most of her torso and not a whole lot else. I’d guess that 80% of non-gay men in a 10 block radius would’ve shot someone to smoke her. Oh and the girl that went as the belly dancer, the one who was 98% naked? Yeah she was hot.
I didn’t bother to bring my camera out cause it takes such lousy night pictures but I did want to mention a few of my favorite costumes. (Photos are stolen from Flickr accounts but are almost entirely of costumes in the parade I wish I would’ve seen. Credit to killrzr, othergroundnyc and zodak)
I got to be honest if the girls are all “Sexy ___” the guys (outside the professionals) are all something out of the ‘80s-early ‘90s. Really with very few exceptions all the great costumes are inspired by something from the 80s. When my folks were out for Halloween in ’05 the greatest costume was Weekend at Bernie’s made up of two guys carrying a dummy between them. It was awesome.
The greatest 80s costume I saw this year I didnt get a photo of. It was Spaceballs the Costume. It was a guy dressed as one of Spaceball One’s crew of assholes with an official looking bumper sticker on his back saying “Spaceballs the Costume”. Fucking brilliant.
Amongst the year’s best costumes were Transformers (and yeah I know it was just a movie but the movie was by Michael Bay so it doesn’t count) which Josh and I saw on the subway,
From Star Wars (always an insanely overrepresented costume category but damn this AT-ST costume is freaking sweet)
Another look at it.
And Iron Man both classics but whose day is over.
And the pinnacle of the ‘80s and really, human culture: He-Man. Man I cannot believe someone went as Skeletor and I missed it.
What is even more amazing is that someone went as Hordak, Skeletor’s counterpart on She-Ra. He also featured prominently in the He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special, which I watch every year. But still that isn’t normal. I bet that guy is so cool. I really wish I had seen him. (And notice who he is posing with? A 80s/early 90s ad icon).
Muppets costumes are always a great call but the brilliance here is keeping Statlor and Waldorf in the booth.
This isn’t a costume, that’s actually Ron Jeremy. He was on a float that went by during the 10 minutes Josh and I were watching the parade itself. The DJ did a shout out to him but we thought they were just making fun of the fat guy on the front of the float.
Speaking of fat guys there was one guy who was the size of The Soprano’s Vito pre-weight loss who went as Peter Griffin from Family Guy. He had a plastic mask but what made it so awesome was the almost scary way he seemed to move and walk just like Peter. It’s what Peter would be like if Who Framed Roger Rabbit was real and Pete escaped Toon Town. There was two separate pairs of women American Gladiators who went at it with their giant Q-tips when they saw each other and a guy dressed as Billy Madison. I fucking loved his costume immediately but he put it over the top when he lifted his shirt to reveal that it really did belong to Frank. I about pissed myself laughing.
Ultimately after standing around so long that our legs were sore we tried to find a bar for a drink or two but at 11pm on Halloween everyplace was insane and as sober noncostumed kids we didn’t want to get involved in that so Jeff headed off to Brooklyn and Josh and I shared a subway back to Astoria with Death. No seriously, Josh and I were freaking out. He wasn’t in costume so much as ACTUALLY DEATH. Like Poe’s the Red Death cept this guy was all black. And huge. Like Andre the Giant huge, cept Death. I was freaking out.
We did make it home safely though (Death apparently was going to go claim souls on one of the last two stops on the N) to find that our next door neighbors, who we have long put off meeting. (Well not long for me I’ve only lived here a couple months. I put all the blame on Josh) were having a big costume party. It extended from their second floor apartment to the alley between our houses and featured at least two kegs. Now if we knew them at all we could’ve gone over there. Hell we probably could’ve gotten away with it anyway but we were real sober and it was going towards 1am and id already made one terrible drinking decision this week. But it was tough rinsing a dish in the sink after reheating some leftovers and looking out the kitchen window to the kitchen a few feet away where people were congregating around a keg.
Damn law school has made me lame. Wonder what Josh’s excuse is?