Dave is…
Protesting Mormons.
Alright that’s a lie, I’m not protesting Mormons. I love them too much for that. But I am watching other people protest Mormons.
As most of you well know the only big black mark on what was otherwise an incredibly victorious day last Tuesday was the passage of Proposition 8 in California. Prop 8 bans gay marriage. It was a pretty contentious issue, one that saw a very mobilized Mormon Church. The Church spoke out extensively in support of Prop 8 and encouraged volunteers and donations to fight for it. Saints responded in massive numbers and it’s been estimated that anywhere from 40-70% of money donated to Support for 8 came from Mormon donors. Since it passed there has been a lot of anger against the Mormons for their role.
Now I can’t say I entirely agree with making Mormon’s the focal point for protest. Yeah they donated huge amounts of money, and yes they are generally sanctimonious pricks on this issue but the Catholic Church pulpits were spewing just as much hate in support of 8 as the Mormon pulpits were and Mormons only make up 2% of Cali. Last time I checked Prop 8 required a lot more than 2% support to pass. True most of the donations and volunteers from the Mormons came from outside California, Utah particularly. And yeah I’m not huge on the whole border ruffian style shit that invokes a rainbow flagged version of the Bleedin Kansas border wars. But still, clearly the Mormons are being targeted because they are the last large scale religion that is still socially acceptable to hate. Mitt Romney proved that last year (though he helped by being an idiot) and its been reinforced this week. There is a lot of anger about Prop 8 and its easiest to channel against them.
You know who hates Mormons? Segway owners. And people who like silver sports coats.
Again though I am not defending the Mormon Church they have done, and still do a lot of really awful shit and as far as their positions on most social issues I couldn’t be more disgusted. But would it kill angry liberals to chuck a few rocks at their local cathedral too? I’m just saying, save some anger for that paragon of pious hypocrisy the Catholic Church. (And also please note I am speaking about the churches not about members of those faiths.) Still you know homosexuals do the best protests with the wittiest signs and most cheerful attitudes and you know any protest against Mormonism is gonna be fun so there was no way I was missing out today when New York finally got into the act and had its big protest rally (There have already been a number of protests in other cities this week.)
It was slated to begin at 6:30 in front of the huge Mormon Temple at Lincoln Center (Four or five years ago when it was just completed, Jeff of New Orleans fame and I toured it before it got consecrated. It’s a shame I didn’t have a blog back then it was epic.) and then proceed down Broadway to Columbus Circle. By the time I got there the march was about to start and I nearly got trampled as I walked up inadvertantly right in front of it.
Man it was everything I hoped it would be and more. Projections expected as many as 3,000 people which I was fairly impressed by but it was packed and as I was leaving I heard a police official on the phone estimating the crowd at 7-8,000. And every one of them was rocking an awesome sign. (Though perhaps none were as cutely held as this kid.) Some of the best:
• You want 5 wives. I only want 1
• Polygamy is not a family value
•Don’t get your temple garments in a bunch I just want my civil rights
• Use your magic underwear for good not evil
• Did you cast a ballot or a stone
• I am a Latter Gay Saint
•Separation of Church and Hate
• God save us all from religion
And perhaps my favorite: Don’t tell me I can’t register at Barneys.
Hysterical. Just hysterical. But again honestly if you look at them especially the first two I listed they are also pretty hateful. Polygamy hasn’t been allowed, even under the table, by mainstream LDS for over eighty years. And fundamentalist Mormons, the tiny offshoot who do practice polygamy not only are despised with greater fervor by mainstream Mormons than gentiles and I can guarantee you they have way too many problems and our way too insular to waste any money in a legal battle over homosexuality in California. Still, like I said, pretty damn funny even if it’s in the same way offensive jokes are.
Course the protest wound down relatively quickly once it got to Columbus Circle. About a half hour after it got there the numbers looked to have dropped in half and the garbage can on Central Park South was packed with discarded signs . Not sure what kind of message that picture sends.
I did like getting the fountain involved.
Someone even managed to get a sticker on bottom of the fountain under the water.
Misc Notes (remember these?):
• Spent the last two days practically exclusively on writing up this big research summary for the NYCLU on legal opposition to the US Military’s Stop-Loss policies. I was coordinating a team of 1Ls through NYU Law’s ACLU club but had to put together and type up all the research they gave me. Really a brutal two days of nothing but writing. Course at the same time I had to write a cover letter for a couple NYU Law fellowship opportunities for this summer with the International Center for Transitional Justice. They were due at noon today. Got them in at 11:46. That’s fourteen minutes before they were due, an improvement of four minutes over last year. Let’s hope I have better luck this time.
• In between following the anti-Mormon march I ducked into Best Buy to price cameras. I’ve been borrowing one at the moment but that cant last. There were some cool ones but I got distracted by that new Star Wars Jedi game on a Playstation 3 they had set up. HOLY FUCK BALLS. I have never fallen in love with a game or a game system so fast in my life. It was like I was in the movie the graphics were so good and the game play was awesome. I was picking up stormtroopers in a force grip and spinning them around in the air before hurling them away, or blocking blaster shots with my light saber before using the force to crush them. I literally had to be dragged away from the machine by a friend. I have no money and I have even less time but I tell you what if I hadn’t been torn away I probably would have thrown down the credit card on a Playstation 3 and worried about the consequences later. Seriously it was like the day I discovered Goldeneye for N64 back in the day. I discovered that in Toys R’ Us one day and didn’t stop playing it for years. Shoot there was a long period in high school where all anyone I knew did was get someone’s brother to buy us Natural Light and then sit in a basement playing battle mode for 8-10 hours at a stretch every weekend. Wish I could do that now. My controller hand is twitching right now just thinking about it.