Dave is…
Playing chauffer.
You know what sucks? Starting the day at 945am in TJ Max trying to find soy candles (seriously f*cking soy candles? What is that?) for Max’s girlfriend before I had to drive that idiot down to the St Louis airport (without getting any breakfast which was the only slim silver lining I foresaw in this morning) so he could fly back to Hawaii to lay around on the beach for the next month till classes start.
His flight left at 3 and my mother’s return flight from Idaho landed at 130 so they got to see each other for 5 minutes as she walked from her gate and he walked to his. While in Idaho apparently my mother spent a lot of time cruising around on an ATV. I have never seen or heard of my mother doing anything remotely close to joyriding on an ATV so I confess I listened skeptically till I saw picture proof. How bad ass is my mother? She is like the grandma in Napoleon Dynamite off dune buggying, cept she doesn’t make any dang quesadillas.
Its good that she is so awesome and I lover her so much more than my brother cause driving back and forth from STL down scenic I-55 is a miserable way to spend a day. Specially when it takes up so much of the day that I only had enough time to take a quick shower before going to pick up my uncles for our bi-annual dinner, this time at B-Dubs for three hours of wings, beer and trivia.
Toss in a brief restorative stop at Tommy’s for the three non-wing pillars of his existence (including the absolutely brilliant Moonajuana episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force) and I came home beyond exhausted. Considering how much I have been driving this last year there is absolutely no reason why a six hour round trip to STL should have so exhausted me but there is something about the rote boring routine of that 90 mile stretch of I-55 that makes it seem interminable.