Dave and Dad are…
Seeing all sides of Swaziland.
The morning dealt with details. Details like finding an internet café so I could book a ticket from Jo’burg to Cape Town for tomorrow (I have continually pushed the limits of last second travel on this trip) and buy a duffel bag big enough to hide my BIG FUCKING ZULU SHIELD if we roll it.
It took some doing, but the Old Man stepped up and found monstrous duffel for a small price and we risked a $20 on it. Back at the hostel it took some considerable doing but we managed to roll the stiff cow hide enough to make it fit, and taped the shield pole and spear so we should be all set tomorrow to smuggle it back into SA and get it to Cape Town.
Also while walking around the commercial center of Mbabane we discovered not only that the King of the Swazi appears to endorse KFC on billboards (easily the coolest endorsement I can think of) but that his official duties also extend to ceremonial mall openings. THAT’S AWESOME. This king does the same shit that Mayor Tim Davlin does in Springfield. I feel like it’d be possible in this country to get the King to crown your high school prom court or give out the blue ribbon for best pig at the state fair livestock competition.
(Apparently the King isn’t the only guy who gets plaqued. Though its too small to read here, the plaque in the upper right corner of this photo says “Jimmy Carter President of the United States of America Stood Here”. No word on whether he christened the opening of the Manandela’s urinal though.)
Incidentally, today’s sexually suggestive KFC billboard had a picture of a couple attractive women on it and the tag line “Sponsoring chicks since ___. KFC Finger Licking Good” EWWWWWW. That’s dirty. So dirty I’ve forgotten what year KFC started sponsoring chicks. I wish the ad ended with the “I’m the King of Swaziland, and I approved this message,” cause that would’ve been amazing.
With all that urban excitement out of the way and with nary a threat of being beaten with sticks we went in search of greater thrills.
We started with a short hike in a Swazi national park that culminated in a waterfall.
It was incredibly scenic without being incredibly strenuous and the water was really refreshing.
Even the Old Man dipped his toes in.
We then mixed in more shopping hitting up a row of craft stands that ran for blocks. I swear we’ve done more shopping in Swaziland than I’ve done in years but we are running out of time in country and true to form I’ve left all my souvenir and wedding gift buying to the last minute.
The Old Man sure does love his dung beetles.
Finally with that out of the way though we hit up another Swazi national park and did there 1.5 hour, self-guided hippo and crocodile wildlife walk.
That’s a dung beetle. Pushing dung.
I have not the slightest idea why anyone would think a self-guided hippo and crocodile wildlife walk would be a good idea, but presumably they were envisioning hikers with sticks. We, as always, are sans sticks.
Seriously, do you realize how easily a hippo could kill me right now?
The Old Man did not seem bothered by this. I would have been more bothered if I could’ve decided which I feared more, being beaten with sticks or mauled by a hippo/crocodile.
Despite my lingering fear the walk was fairly pleasant. We didn’t see any hippos though we did see the usual scattering of African wildlife: zebras, antelope, buffalo, and goddamn guinea fowl.
And we did see a crocodile. A huge bastard sunning himself on a little island a short way out into the lake we were circling. (See the grayish spot on the island in the upper right)
That’s the pose of a man who was not beaten with sticks.
That sight did nothing to soothe my nerves as I really didn’t see what would save us if the fella decided to start swimming to our shore. But we made it back in one piece ultimately (the Old Man managing to get one last wrong turn at the end) and we celebrated another day that didn’t end with us beaten with sticks or eaten by hungry hungry hippos at Manandelas, the Swazi version of Cheers.